Adventures in Babysitting
by Coyote Blues
Summary: Are Charles & Erik ready for a child of their own? Or will an evening of babysitting make them think otherwise? Fun & very fluffy Charles and Erik, and super cute baby Kurt. XMFC ficlet, written for your enjoyment & author's amusement. One-shot.


_Disclaimer: I own many things, but sadly, the X-Men are not among them. This story was inspired by spending a weekend with my beautiful two-month-old niece. Written just for fun!_

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><p>"Are you <em>sure<em> you're ready for this?" Raven looked at Charles with a raised eyebrow as she shifted her son to her other shoulder. The three-month-old boy was noisily sucking on his fist and drooling on his mother's collarbone. Behind her, her mate Azazel deposited the last of the baby's bags next to the couch and stood up, brushing his hands from the task. He had to make three trips to get everything inside the house. Charles smiled and eagerly held out his arms towards his sister's child.

"For the _millionth_ time Raven, _yes_." She easily transferred the baby into her brother's waiting arms. Charles cooed at the child as he snuggled him close to his body while Raven draped a split-cloth onto Charles's shoulder. "He's a _baby_; it's not rocket science…which, I am good at, _by the way_."

"Yes Charles, we all know how _smart_ you are." Raven playfully stuck out her tongue at her older brother. He ignored her and continued to dote on his tiny nephew. "Alright. Let's go over the details one more time. I last fed him…Charles?" Raven clipped on her earrings while she watched Charles make faces at the baby. The blue infant squealed in delight as Charles gently blew his curly hair back, his plump tail whipping back and forth like an excited puppy. Her mate stood next to her with his arms crossed, watching the display with a smile as his own identical tail swept lazily back and forth.

"Charles, are you even _listening_ to me?"

"Don't bother Raven, he's _utterly_ gone." Erik, Charles's partner, spoke from the doorway of the flat's kitchen. He grinned as he walked past Charles who was making increasingly louder noises at the baby. Erik kissed Raven on the cheek in greeting and shook hands with Azazel. Erik and Charles had been together for five years now, and Raven thought of Erik like another brother. Together, Erik and Charles were the quintessential odd couple: Charles with his books, philosophy, and idealistic nature; Erik with his practicality, seriousness, and working-class attitude. Sometimes the _only_ thing the two seemed to agree on was that they loved each other.

"What do we need to know?"

"Ok, I last fed him before we left, so he shouldn't be hungry until about 10 o'clock. I've prepared two bottles for you, I'll put them in the fridge." She turned and looked at her partner. "Zaz, can you…?" The red mutant pulled two bottles out of a bag and disappeared. From the other room, Erik heard the suction-cup kiss of the refrigerator opening.

"If he gets fussy, he likes to be held on his stomach and have his back rubbed. If that doesn't work, put him on your shoulder and bounce him, but not too hard. If he's still crying, he might need to be changed, or you can try and put him in the playpen we brought. Zaz?" Her mate reappeared behind her and produced a folding playpen out of one of the bags. Raven continued. "Or he might be hungry, or…" Erik bit his lip as he listened to Raven layout the ground-rules for watching Kurt. She was listing far more helpful hints and instructions than he anticipated. An oblivious Charles was now rolling on the floor with the squealing child.

"…and if he's _too_ warm, it might be a fever, or you might need to take off his fleece pajamas. But if he gets too cold, you need to put them back on. Watch out for his tail, he's finally getting the hang of using it, and you have to button his onesie and diaper around it. I wrote down the number of the restaurant we'll be at, and his doctor, but call me first if _anything_, and if you need to give him a bath or if he teleports…"

"Raven, I think we'll be _alright_ for a few hours." Erik interrupted and grinned reassuringly at his sister-in-law. She still looked unconvinced, but she nodded anyways and glanced back at Charles who was lying on his back, holding the baby up the air, wiggling him back and forth as he made ridiculous noises no adult man should make. It was times like these that neither Raven nor Erik was convinced Charles wasn't _still_ a child himself. Raven knelt next to Charles. Kurt's golden eyes alighted on his mother and he reached his chubby fingers greedily in her direction. Raven took him in her arms, rocking him gently as she kissed him on the head and spoke to him in baby talk.

"Kurty-bird, Mama's gonna miss you, _yes she is_! _Yes she is_!" Kurt grabbed a fistful of Raven's hair and stuffed it in his mouth while she cooed and rubbed her nose on his stomach. Charles sat up and Erik knelt next to him, putting his hand on Charles' shoulder. Charles looked up at his lover and smiled. Despite being a serious person, the wonderment on Erik's face when he looked at Raven's baby could not be hidden. Erik _adored_ Kurt, and Charles was hoping that this evening of babysitting would be instrumental in convincing Erik that the couple was ready to adopt a child of their own. It was a topic Charles had brought up to Erik since Raven announced her pregnancy almost a year ago. Charles wanted a child so badly that he had even considered giving-up his professorship at the local college and opening a day school so he could teach young children.

"Raven…" Azazel caught his mate's eye and tapped on his watch in reminder. They had dinner reservations in five minutes, and they were lucky to get these reservations; not all upscale restaurants were mutant-friendly. Raven kissed her baby a few more times before surrendering the child back to Charles. She walked over to Azazel and laced her fingers through his outstretched waiting hand.

"Seriously, if you need anything, just call me. We can be back in an _instant_ if…"

"Have a great time you two!" Erik cut off Raven in dismissal, waving to emphasize the finality. Raven frowned and Azazel smirked as the pair vanished, leaving a cloud of smoke marking where they once stood. The flat was suddenly very quiet, the only sounds being Charles's babbling and the baby's happy noises. Erik knelt on the floor next to Charles and watched his lover interact with Kurt, occasionally joining in Charles's baby talk or letting the boy grab at him in play. Charles grinned happily at Erik, his periwinkle eyes shining with joy. For an idyllic ten minutes, it was _exactly_ how Charles had pictured it would be if he and Erik had a baby of their own. Suddenly, something Raven had said surfaced in Charles's mind.

"Wait…" he tilted his head questioningly at Erik. "Did Raven say something about _teleporting_?" As if on cue, Kurt disappeared from Charles's arms with a loud _BAMF _and was replaced by cloud of dark smoke. Erik coughed and then jumped up, looking around the room panicked. Charles continued to stare at his now empty arms in utter shock. The baby was _gone_.

"Oh _shit_!" Erik's eyes were wide with fear. "_Shit_! Charles, _where is he_? _Where is he_?"

"I don't _know_!" Charles bolted upright and quickly placed his trembling fingers to his temple, closing his eyes.

"Use your powers! _Find him_!" Erik was looking frantically around the room, tossing pillows off the couch and even looking under the furniture. Charles opened one eye and gave Erik a sharp look.

"What do you _think_ I am doing over here? _Dancing_? Of _course_ I am using my powers to find him!"

Before Charles could locate the missing child, a sharp crack sounded in the middle of the room. Red, black and blue smoke swirled elegantly in the air. When it dissipated, Azazel was standing in the living room, holding Kurt safely in his arms. The baby gurgled happily, his tail coiled around his father's arm as Charles put his hand over his heart and collapsed backwards into an armchair. Erik rushed to Azazel, who was beaming proudly at his son.

"He takes after me," the red mutant boasted as he calmly handed the child to Erik. The boy immediately wrapped his tail around Erik's wrist and clutched his shirt. "Is _strong_ too! Kurt got all the way to street this time, before I caught him." Erik nodded shakily, his eyes focused on Kurt as if staring at him would prevent the baby from disappearing again. Charles had finally caught his breath.

"What do we do…what if he does _that_ again?" Azazel waved his hand casually as if Charles's concern was an afterthought. Charles frowned. _Easy to think if you're a teleporter too_, he thought.

"He is too tired now to get far now." Erik and Charles gave each other worried looks, but the red mutant merely shrugged. "He can do one big jump only, so if he disappears again, check in the next room. He cannot make many jumps at this age."

"But…" Azazel held-up his hand to silence Erik.

"I must go. Raven thinks I am in bathroom. I wanted to stop back here and tell you do not worry. Kurt is good boy, easy to watch. Raven makes it sound impossible."

"_Yeah_…" Erik didn't sound convinced after the blue boy's disappearing act. Azazel kissed Kurt on the head and disappeared. Charles came up behind Erik and put his arms around the man's waist. They had quite a little scare, but Charles believed the worst was over. He kissed Erik on the neck. The tall man held Kurt tightly to his chest, as if afraid of losing him again. Erik still looked a shaken.

"Are you ready for this?" Charles whispered to Erik, looking at the baby nestled in his lover's arms.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, but you heard Azazel. Kurt's _easy_. How hard can it be to watch him for one evening?" Kurt cooed innocently and smiled a toothless grin up at Erik. His face screwed-up slightly as he pushed at it with his clenched, three-fingered hand. Erik smiled and ran his finger along the fine fur on the child's cheek. Instinctively, the baby turned his head towards Erik's finger and rooted, making a loud smacking sound with his mouth. This baby was so _damn_ cute. _Charles is right_, thought Erik; _how hard could this really be_?

As if stepping up to Erik's mental challenge, Kurt opened his tiny, heart-shaped mouth and began to wail loud enough to wake the dead. Erik looked at Charles and raised an eyebrow.

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><p>Two hours later, the only change was that Kurt was alternating his wail with stuttering sobs. The two men had tried everything to clam him down. The three bags Raven and Azazel had dropped off with Kurt looked like they had been ransacked by thieves. They tried engaging Kurt with every toy, even resorting to their own car keys and personal belongings, but nothing would pacify him. They took turns holding him in every position and at every angle they could think of. They rocked him, they changed him, they played peek-a-boo, they made funny noises and faces at him, and finally, Charles tried using telepathy to calm the baby. It turned out that telepathy does not work on young children, a big surprise to a disappointed Charles and a much amused Erik.<p>

"You would think that crying this much alone would have exhausted him!" Charles called out from the kitchen, where he was heating up one of Kurt's bottles. Out of desperation, they decided to feed him an hour early. Erik bounced the screaming baby on his lap to no avail. He checked the boy's diaper again and frowned.

"This _cannot_ be possible. I _just_ changed him. How can he pee this much?" Erik walked into the kitchen asking Charles in a bewildered tone and holding Kurt up as if an illustration. "Please explain to me, using _science_, how something this small can produce this much pee?"

"For the last time, I don't _know_!" Charles ran his fingers through this air in frustration. "He's an anomaly, OK? Maybe wetting an extraordinary amount of diapers is part of his mutation. It sure _bloody_ seems like it."

Erik took Kurt out into the living room and laying the baby on a stack of towels on the floor, set about changing his diaper for what seemed like the hundredth time. This alone was a feat; Raven hadn't been kidding when she said Kurt had started to get the hang of his tail. The boy used it to disrupt the entire process, from throwing the diaper cream across the room to preventing his onesie from refastening, and even once squeezing the bottle of powder in Erik's face. At one point he even figured out how to immobilize Erik's hand to prevent him from getting his tail through his diaper. Each step was a battle. Erik also learned the hard way that even a recently wet diaper did not prevent Kurt from peeing; the two men would be sleeping on pullout sofa, thanks to Erik's brilliant idea of changing Kurt on their bed.

"How's that bottle coming?" Erik shouted over his shoulder to Charles.

"Almost there!"

"Great, just in…_arggghhhhhh_!" Erik cried out.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Charles popped his head around the kitchen doorway. For some reason, Erik was taking his shirt off.

"Yes, I'm fine. The kid just peed on me, that's all." Erik frowned as Charles giggled from the kitchen. Erik slung the screaming child over his arm and entered into the kitchen. Charles was holding a bottle and the spit-cloth, his arms extended in a motion to take Kurt from Erik. Erik looked at the bottle, smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"Did you _test_ it?"

"Test what?"

"The bottle. Did you put milk on your hand to test the temperature?"

"It's fine Erik, just hand me the baby."

"No, not until you test the milk."

"As long as you can hold it, it's fine. See?" Charles held up the bottle and showed Erik that it was cool to the touch. Erik didn't budge.

"Pour some on your hand and prove to me that it's safe for the baby." Charles stared at Erik in disbelief before he sighed and squirted milk out on his hand. He held it up his hand for Erik to see.

"See? No burns. It's _fine_." Charles motioned for the baby again, then hesitated and looked at his hand, frowning. "This milk looks _funny_." He touched it with his fingers and rubbed them together. "It's _sticky_." Erik smirked. Charles frowned harder. "What is so hilarious?"

"Nothing. Except…no, _nothing_."

"Spit it out _Mr. Lensherr_." Erik was shaking in quiet laughter. Charles held the bottle up to show Kurt. The child's gold eyes locked onto the bottle and he instantly stopped crying. Kurt disappeared in a cloud of smoke, making both men jump, but he reappeared almost instantly clinging to Charles's sweater, his one hand and his tail securely on the bottle. With loud, happy noises, Kurt started greedily sucking down the milk. Both men breathed a sigh of collective relief that he hadn't disappeared again and that the incessant screaming was over.

"Sticky or not, he seems to like it." Charles beamed at Kurt, who was now curled on his back with both hands, both feet and his tail wrapped around his bottle. "Yes you do! You love this." Erik chuckled again as Charles spoke to his nephew. Charles's expression changed to one of frustration and he shot a sour look at Erik.

"For the last time, what is so _bloody_ funny?"

"Did Raven tell you she was breastfeeding?"

"Yes. What is so amusing about that?" Erik nodded at Charles's hand with a knowing smirk on his face. The telepath looked down confused for a second before realization dawned on him.

"Oh Erik…oh, you _knew_! That's is _low_." Charles turned to get the spit cloth to wipe the milk – correction, _Raven's_ _milk_ – off his hand. He was close with his sister, but he didn't want to be _that_ close with her. Erik laughed out loud as Charles shook his head. After a few minutes, Charles began smiling and giggled. It was kinda funny, when he thought about it. And right now, he was just so happy that Kurt had ceased screaming he would have laughed at anything.

"Should we sit in the living room?" Erik followed Charles into the living room and the two men sat on the sofa. Charles rocked Kurt while the baby ate, and Erik sat next to Charles with his arm around him. Their living room was trashed; there were toys, diapers, baby products, and other items scattered everywhere. In short, it looked like a Playschool war-zone. Charles sighed, knowing if they did adopt, they'd never have a organized flat again.

"This is nice." Erik ran his fingers through Charles's hair. Kurt was almost done with his bottle, but Erik was sure that the worst was now over. After all, kids like to sleep after they eat, and the child had to be tired after all that crying.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I could get used to this."

"Erik, do you really want…?" Charles was going to say, _do you really want a child?_, but he was interrupted by Kurt pushing the now empty bottle away. The baby looked up at Charles, stretching and gurgling in pure contentment. Charles smiled.

"Isn't he just _perfect_?"

"He is." Erik stroked the boy's face again. Kurt grabbed his fingers and began chewing on it. "He is utterly perfect."

With that compliment, Kurt began to scream once again. Both men grimaced and looked at each other, and then looked at clock on the wall. Raven and Azazel were going to be out for another _three hours_. Sighing, Erik took out his keys and began to jingle them in Kurt's face. Charles checked the boy's diaper and made a face.

"Erik, do we have any more _clean_ diapers left?"

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><p>It took two more hours, eight more diaper changes, the other bottle, and countless attempts with toys and other items before Kurt stopped crying. In the end, it was nothing the men did; eventually, the sheer energy the infant poured into his own tears finally wore him out. When Raven and Azazel reappeared in the living room at the end of their date, they found Charles fast asleep in the rocking chair holding Kurt in his arms. Erik was asleep as well, his head on Charles's lap, Kurt's fingers fiercely clenching a lock of hair. Raven's laugh woke Erik.<p>

"Huh, _wha_…?" The sleeping man sat up suddenly, winching from where the child was holding his hair. There was a small puddle of drool on Charles's pant's leg from where Erik's face had been pressed. Erik looked at Raven and Azazel in embarrassment when he realized what had happened.

"You're back so soon?" Raven rolled her eyes at Erik's sleepy comment.

"Actually, we're right on time." Charles stirred at the sound of his sister's voice.

"Oh, _hey_, you're _back_!" Raven raised an eyebrow at her brother, and Charles hoped he hadn't sounded too happy. Azazel began picking-up Kurt's toys that were scattered around the room. Erik became immediately and painfully aware that the room looked like the men had fought a losing battle, and he started helping the red mutant pack-up.

"There's my little man, _there he is_!" Raven cooed and pulled the sleepy Kurt into her arms and held him tight. "Mama missed you." Raven glanced down at her bother. "How was he?"

"Oh…he was…_good_." Erik shot a curious look at Charles as the telepath lied through his teeth. "He was great, actually."

"Mama's good little man!" Raven snuggled her son close to her. She smiled at Charles, but when she looked at Erik, she tilted her head in confusion.

"Weren't you wearing a _different_ shirt earlier?" Erik looked down at his plain black undershirt and nodded.

"Yes, but then pee happened."

"_Pee_?" Raven looked confused at Erik whereas Azazel softly said, "ah," and nodded in understanding. As a shape-shifter, Raven sometimes forgot that other people couldn't just _make_ new clothes when they needed.

"Well, anyways," Raven eyed Erik doubtfully again, "thank you so much for watching him so we could go out. It's been _ages_." Raven and Azazel shared a knowing smile. "Since you three had so much fun tonight, maybe we should make this a regular thing. You guys could watch Kurt for us once a weekend or something." Charles bit his lip and Erik's eyes widened in fear. Luckily, Raven was talking more to herself than the men, and she did not notice their reactions. When Erik looked at Azazel and swallowed, Azazel shook his head "no" and smiled. Erik breathed a sigh of relief.

After a series of trips to bring Kurt's belonging home and several rounds of kisses and handshakes goodbye, Charles and Erik found themselves alone once again in their flat. Charles turned to Erik and watched sadly as his lover started pulling out the sofa bed for the two men to sleep on.

"Erik, I am _so_ sorry. I thought watching Kurt would be a good idea." Erik walked over to Charles and put his hands on the man's shoulders. His storm blue eyes looked very serious.

"Oh Charles, it was a great idea. It certainly helped me make a decision about having a child of our own." Charles frowned and nodded. Sadly, he completely understood how, after tonight, Erik might not ever want a child. As he acknowledged this thought, Erik suddenly pulled Charles to him and embraced him passionately. The young man was caught by complete surprise. When they finally parted, gasping for breath, Erik looked at Charles and smiled, gently brushing his hair off his face.

"When can we get started?"

"Wait, _really_?" Charles searched Erik's face for signs that he was joking, but the metal-bender looked sincere.

"_Really_."

"But I thought…" Erik held up his hand to silence his lover.

"I know what you thought. But Charles, after tonight...I can't think of anyone else I would ever want to raise a child with but you." Charles beamed with happiness at Erik. They might be opposites in many ways, but now they had at least two things that they agreed upon.

"Charles?" Erik clicked off the room lights and slid under the sheets of the temporary bed.

"Yes?"

"We are _not_ watching Kurt next weekend."

_Ok, three things_. Charles smiled and slid into Erik's open arms. A few minutes later, both men fell into a _much_ deserved slumber.


End file.
